The Washington Post has published submissions of its neologism contest in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words. And here are some of them…
(BK: don’t know how current these are, but I’ve never heard/read ’em before, so hopefully neither have you)… and they’re FUNNY!!!
1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly
answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run
over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humourous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14.Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up
onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by
Jewish men.
some others:
Refudiate – first used by Sarah Palin when she misspoke, confusing the words refute and repudiate. Though initially a gaffe, the word was recognized as the New Oxford American Dictionary’s “Word of the Year” in 2010
Typoglycemia – purportedly demonstrates that readers can understand the meaning of words in a sentence even when the interior letters of each word are scrambled. As long as all the necessary letters are present, and the first and last letters remain the same, readers appear to have little trouble reading the text. (see paragraph below)
“I cdn’uolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg: the phaonmneel pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rseearch taem at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Scuh a cdonition is arppoiatrely cllaed Typoglycemia .
“Amzanig huh? Yaeh and you awlyas thguoht slpeling was ipmorantt.”
PS: this word stuff (esp neologisms) is almost the best kind of fun there is, IMO!
RELATED: (edit 7/10/13)
I found an interesting new blog via the AtoZ challenge today (yes, it was April, but still bring good things to its participants)! Sue’s Condisered Trifles: Sit, Walk, Stand
sources:
Wikipedia
Bob Levey’s Fun with Words
I cracked up reading these and now that I have, every one makes perfect sense. *giggles and wipes tears away*
I know what you mean… almost everyone got me guffawing!
🙂
I’ve seen this the last few years.Didn’t realize they’d done 2013 yet.
Great list!
I think these circulate and many may be really old! But they always seem to be new to me and funny as hell!! Hope you at least cracked a smile!
🙂
Oh dear! I feel Austin will want to nick some of these for his word of the day slot!!
I say let Austin have a go at them! As I read through them, I must admit, Austin did come to mind!!!
🙂
Oh no, I hope these don’t actually enter our lexicon.
Perhaps some may find their way to the urban dictionary?
🙂
Just snort coffee out the nose funny. Thanks so much for the great giggles
That’s exactly what happened to me when I read them!!!
🙂
You are naughty BuddhaKat but guess what? I wouldn’t want you any other way my sweet friend, now grab some of this chocolate cake and make a nice cup of fresh coffee, and while we sit there giggling at your posting I will offer you one of Fraz’s marshmallows 🙂 don’t worry he always shares his with me 🙂
Have a lovely Wednesday and do call in
sometime, even if it’s only for some of Winky’s
wine gums 🙂
Andro xxxx
Oh, I’m so glad you liked these, Andro… aren’t they just hilarious!?!?!?
Well, with an invitation like that, I shall surely stop in soon, then.
Like everyone else, chocolate cake is my favorite food!! And it goes perfectly with coffee!!
Glad to see you!!
🙂
Just knock on the gates
and I will let you in 🙂 🙂
Andro xxxx