The Washington Post has published submissions of its neologism contest in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words. And here are some of them…
(BK: don’t know how current these are, but I’ve never heard/read ’em before, so hopefully neither have you)… and they’re FUNNY!!!
1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly
answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run
over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humourous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14.Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up
onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by
Refudiate – first used by Sarah Palin when she misspoke, confusing the words refute and repudiate. Though initially a gaffe, the word was recognized as the New Oxford American Dictionary’s “Word of the Year” in 2010
Typoglycemia – purportedly demonstrates that readers can understand the meaning of words in a sentence even when the interior letters of each word are scrambled. As long as all the necessary letters are present, and the first and last letters remain the same, readers appear to have little trouble reading the text. (see paragraph below)
“I cdn’uolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg: the phaonmneel pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rseearch taem at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Scuh a cdonition is arppoiatrely cllaed Typoglycemia .
“Amzanig huh? Yaeh and you awlyas thguoht slpeling was ipmorantt.”
PS: this word stuff (esp neologisms) is almost the best kind of fun there is, IMO!
RELATED: (edit 7/10/13)
I found an interesting new blog via the AtoZ challenge today (yes, it was April, but still bring good things to its participants)! Sue’s Condisered Trifles: Sit, Walk, Stand